Finding stillness: my Journey into silence and self-discovery
In 2022, I finally did it—I went to a silent retreat. For years, I’d been drawn to the idea of stepping away from the noise, from the distractions of daily life, and simply being. Back in 2020, I had even mustered up the courage to sign up for a Vipassana retreat—a 10-day Buddhist silent retreat—but then the lockdowns hit, and I couldn’t attend. As disappointing as it was, it gave me time to reflect. Was I really ready for something as intense as Vipassana?
Fast forward to 2022, and after the chaos of the pandemic had subsided a bit, I found myself searching for a retreat again. This time, though, Vipassana felt like too much. I had just become a certified mindfulness trainer, and while I wanted a deeper connection with my meditation practice, I wasn’t quite ready to jump into the strict discipline of Vipassana. What I needed was something a bit gentler. And then I found it—a retreat that was shorter, less rigid, but still offered the space for silence, meditation, and self-reflection. It seemed perfect, and I was ready.
Stepping into silence
The retreat was held in a serene valley, deep in the woods of Spain. I arrived there by train from Valencia, and when I saw other people milling around, looking a bit lost, I realized they were fellow retreat-goers. Ellen, the retreat guide, met us with her warm smile and drove us to the retreat center. The place was simple but beautiful—totally immersed in nature. There was an outdoor kitchen, composting toilets (a bit of a challenge for me, if I’m honest!), and a yurt where we would meditate.
I remember vividly the moment we were told that after lunch, we’d be entering silence. No talking, no interacting, no subtle gestures to communicate with others. It was all about turning inward. I thought it might be tough and lonely, but in that space, surrounded by the simplicity of nature, it felt natural. The sounds of the wind, the rustling of leaves, and the presence of animals and bugs like the friendly dogs and ants on the property became my new companions.
What silence revealed to me
Something extraordinary happens when you slow down and embrace silence. Time itself seems to shift. Without a clock or a phone to check, my mind initially struggled to adjust. But slowly, I began to sink into the rhythm of each day. I found myself mesmerized by the little things, like watching ants go about their busy lives. I wasn’t bored; nature was entertainment enough.
It wasn’t just the meditations that made the retreat so special. Ellen’s guidance was incredibly nurturing. Every morning, we started with yoga in the open air. There were Buddhist stories shared during Dhamma talks, and we even went for a silent walk one day. Everything was designed to bring us back to the present moment.
One particular experience stands out. Midweek, after lunch, I took a nap and overslept. I missed the bell for the meditation session, and when I woke up, I panicked. My heart raced as I rushed to the yurt, feeling embarrassed that I was late. But once I settled into the meditation, something clicked. There was no such thing as “late” in this space. I realized how deeply conditioned I was to fear being judged for tardiness—a lifelong pattern. In that moment, I understood how much those little societal pressures had impacted me, and I finally began to let go.
Small insights, big changes
The retreat was full of these small, yet profound insights. For example, I realized that during the entire week, I hadn’t needed my asthma medication. The moment I started talking again at the end of the retreat, my asthma symptoms returned. It made me wonder—what am I doing with my breath when I speak? How is my body reacting to my voice? These moments of self-awareness were powerful.
Another significant takeaway was how inclusive the retreat was. Ellen and her team made sure everyone could meditate in a way that suited their body—whether sitting on a cushion, a bench, or even lying down. This approach was a revelation. Meditation, and silence, should be accessible to all, and this retreat embodied that principle beautifully.
A unique experience at kaussay
Ellen and the Kaussay community created an environment that felt warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental. Ellen herself is an experienced mindfulness trainer, and her guidance was both gentle and deeply insightful. I loved how the retreat ended, too. We didn’t immediately jump back into conversation. Instead, we gradually broke the silence with dancing, singing, and only then, talking. It was the perfect way to re-enter the world after days of quiet.
If you’re thinking about trying a silent retreat but feel like Vipassana is too much, I highly recommend Kaussay. It offers a softer, more adaptable approach, while still giving you plenty of space for deep reflection. You don’t need to be an experienced meditator or even particularly spiritual to benefit from this kind of retreat. The power of silence can bring clarity, healing, and peace in ways that you might not expect.
Continuing the journey
Since that retreat, I’ve continued to integrate moments of silence into my slow living practice. Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a walk without distractions, I’ve realized how essential it is to reconnect with myself. And honestly, I can’t wait to plan my next retreat. A few days of silence is a gift we all deserve.
If you’re curious about Kaussay, the retreat is set in the stunning mountains of Valencia at Casas Benali. Over five days, you’ll experience daily yoga, guided meditations, insightful talks, and nourishing vegetarian meals. With beautiful natural surroundings, you can also enjoy walks or book an Ayurvedic massage. Whether you’re a beginner or experienced, it’s a space for everyone.
For a little extra incentive, use the code SLOW50 when you sign up, and you’ll receive €50 off your retreat. Trust me, this experience will stay with you long after you’ve returned home.
For more information and to sign up, you can visit [this link]. Don’t forget to use the code SLOW50 to receive €50 off your retreat. This discount is only valid for bookings in October and November.
Please note, the retreat is no longer held at Kaussay. It’s now at Casas Benali, a stunning retreat location with 68 hectares of land nestled in the mountains of Valencia province. Surrounded by nature as far as the eye can see, no traffic, no internet, no streetlights. You can gaze at the stars, smell the wild thyme, and depending on the season, pick fresh oranges, figs, or pomegranates right from the trees. And, the best part—no more compost toilets! 😉
I hope you have a wonderful time just like I did. If you’ve attended this retreat, let us know how it went! Share your experience and send us a DM via [Instagram link].
